I like that title. It says so much in just three words.
When I first forced myself to start running, I dreaded it, hated it and almost feared it. But I would force myself to "just get on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes." I would tell myself that I didn't have to run the entire time, I just needed to be moving for 30 minutes. That's all. Easy enough. So for 3 months I played this game with myself in my head and for 3 months I got myself on the treadmill at least 4 times a week. My original goal was to get in shape for an upcoming trip to Cancun with a bunch of perfect bodied "friends" for a couples retreat. I wanted to look even half as good as the people I would be hanging out with for a week, and I figured running would be a quick way to get in shape.
Well, after 3 months I hadn't lost a single pound and I felt like I looked exactly the same as when I started forcing myself onto the treadmill. I was pissed! Discouraged! MAD! What a waste, I thought. But then I thought about it more (a problem I have... I think WAY too much!) and started thinking about the 3 months I'd spent forcing myself on the treadmill in a different light. I asked myself "What did you like about running?" A simple question I know, but my realization was confounding, even to myself. My answer was that I sincerely liked the time spent working on myself. I liked being left to my thoughts. Free to think and ponder and free to allow my mind to wander wherever it wanted to. I liked listening to good music and feeling my muscles and body working with me. Holy cow! I discovered that I actually enjoyed the PROCESS OF RUNNING! It was amazing!
So then I asked myself "If you continued to run like this for the rest of your life and you never lost a pound, would you still run?" And I was happy, amazed, relieved and excited to respond "YES!" Because I learned that I actually love running, for the spirit of running, for the action of running, for the movement of running... so my motivation for running changed from there on out. I am now not necessarily for weight loss (although, I'm not going to lie, I would welcome such a loss), but for my health and my sense of well being. I am indeed RECONNECTING with myself through running!
But not only am I reconnecting with myself, I am also reconnecting with my sister who is enduring similar challenges and insights on her running journey thousands of miles away. What a happy feeling it is to have someone to share these adventures and insights with. This blog is going to be such a wonderful thing!
Take it away Aimee! Your turn to share!
Friday, September 18, 2009
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